Canadian Blondes Have More Fun
by Failure Turtle
Summary: After a rousing trip to Disney World, Edge, Christian, and Jericho decide to take a road trip back to Canada.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This has got to be the most random thing I've ever written. Seriously. And you all know I've written some pretty damn random stuff…but this takes the cake.**

**Oh shit, I said "cake." Killa's going to think I have some now. Which I do, by the way. It's on the microwave for some reason. But cake is gross.**

"I hate hot Floridian days," Edge sighed. He took another lick of his humongous Mickey Mouse lollipop and took off his Mickey Mouse hat with large ears, wiping the sweat off of his brow before replacing the hat back on his head. "My hair is going to frizz! This golden Canadian goodness cannot take much more of this humidity!"

"Quit being such a whiner, Edge," Christian said, instinctively running a hand through his short buzzed hair.

"Yeah, man, we're in fucking DISNEY WORLD!" Jericho yelled, jumping down from the bench he was standing on and drawing attention to himself. "The least thing you should be worrying about is your hair."

"That's easy for you chump stains to say. I'm the only one of us left with real hair. It's a shame that I'm the only _real_ Canadian in the group," Edge said, putting his hands on his hips in a glorified pose.

"Hey, you mean you're the only real Canadian left in the WWE," Christian said to defend his Canadian roots. "Jericho's the froufrou one. He looks like a freak from California with that twelve year old boy haircut."

"Way to steal lines from The Rock, little Christian. Just so you know, my hair will never, ever, be the same again," Jericho whispered.

"Why are you whispering, you creep?" Christian asked.

"We don't want to be found, remember? Stupid management doesn't want TNA and WWE Superstars seen together. I can't risk being caught. There will be no one to save everyone from Randy's child bearing hips," Jericho cockily stated. "Edge is the only good thing on SmackDown, but I don't see why you can't risk it, Christian."

"Screw you," Christian muttered.

"No, thanks. I'll let Batista know, though," Jericho laughed.

"ANYWAYS CHILDREN," Edge interjected. "The reason that we're at Disney World is because it's so far away from Tampa. We're bound to get away from this scotch free. The only people that would come here are like the Divas or something."

"Yeah, you look like a Diva with that lion's mane," Jericho laughed, pulling on a chunk of Edge's hair.

"Hey, quit being mean," Edge whined. "Come on, let's go ride Space Mountain."

"WOOO!" Jericho and Christian both squealed at once.

* * *

"See, _that's_ why you shouldn't have your hair like that, man," Jericho teased, pointing at Edge's now messed up head of hair.

"Shut up," Edge quietly said, putting his Mickey Mouse hat back on his head.

"Guys…I just had a brilliant idea. When was the last time you went to Canada?" Christian asked.

"Man…it's been a long time, eh?" Jericho said, realizing he hadn't been to God's country in over two years, minus the sporadic WWE show.

"You're right," Edge sighed. "Why do you ask?"

"Let's go on a road trip to Canada," Christian suggested.

"Sounds like a great idea—" Jericho said.

"NOT DRIVING!" Edge and Christian both screamed at once, interrupting their friend.

"That was low…" Jericho seethed. "But we're not taking my car."

"Not taking mine…and I don't think we should take Christian's. His sucks," Edge laughed.

"Then whose fucking car are we taking?" Christian shrugged.

"I've got it," Edge giggled evilly. "We all live in Tampa, right?"

The other two nodded.

"Who else lives in Tampa that has a lot of extra cars that he's not using?"

The other two shrugged.

Edge rolled his eyes. "Cena, duh," Edge said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Oh," the other two said.

"But how are we going to get him to let us use his car?" Jericho asked.

"We challenge him to a game of hockey," Edge grinned.

"Sweet," Jericho grinned.

"Come on boys, let's blow this popsicle stand," Christian said. "We've got a drive back to Tampa to make."

"Can I get my picture taken with Pinocchio first?" Edge asked, bouncing up and down like a little kid.

"Yeah," Christian sighed.

"YES!"

**A/N: So I pretty much had this typed up before Brit even posted hers. I wanted to post it after I woke up, but I'm about to go back to sleep. Don't worry, apparently the stories are completely different.**


	2. Chapter 2

"Did you get all the pictures you wanted, Edge?" Jericho asked like a mother scolding her child.

Edge went through the pictures on his digital camera. He had a picture with Belle, Beast, Sleeping Beauty, Minnie Mouse, Mickey Mouse, Pinocchio, Goofy, Donald, Snow White, Cinderella, Prince Eric, Ariel, Aladdin, Jasmine, Jafar, Cruella Deville, Maleficent, Prince Charming, Merlin, Flora, Fauna, Merryweather, Fairy Godmother, Winnie the Pooh, Tigger, Eeyore, Kanga, Roo, Owl, Rabbit, Piglet, Gaston, Maurice, King Triton, Ursula, Pluto, Tweedle Dee, Tweedle Dum, Alice, and Queen of Hearts.

"I think so," Edge sighed, putting his camera back in his pocket.

"Good, I'm wasted," Jericho said, clapping Edge on the shoulder.

"You're _wasted_?" Christian asked in shock. "This is Disney World! You can't be wasted here! This is a family place! Do they even sell alcohol here?"

"Christian, don't freak out. He probably doesn't mean _that_ kind of wasted," Edge reassured his former tag team partner. "He probably just met up with Randy Orton in a bathroom and they smoked some doobies."

"I am not intoxicated in any way!" Jericho defended himself, crossing his arms. "Now can we please leave? I'd like to have Cena's car hijacked by sunset."

"Fine," Edge said, "but if we find any more characters that I don't have pictures with yet, can I get them?"

"Whatever," Jericho said. "The sooner we get out of here, the better."

"Quit being such a party pooper, Jericho," Christian said. "I don't want you like this when we go on our sweet road trip."

"Well then, let me get all of the asshole out of me now before you have to deal with me for extended periods of time," Jericho said. He then began to yell at the top of his lungs. "JESUS CHRIST. MOTHERFUCKER. WAYNE GRETZKY. ASSHOLE. BITCH. COCK SUCKER. WORD TO YOUR MOTHER. FOZZY ROCKS MY SOCKS. BATISTA IS A CHILD MOLESTER. FUCK. SHIT. DILDO. JOHN CENA COULDN'T WRESTLE HIS WAY OUT OF A WET PAPER BAG."

He then stopped once he heard a child start crying near him. He looked down and saw a little boy in a John Cena shirt. "Oh, are you upset at my yelling and swearing?" he asked.

"No, you made fun of Cena!" the boy screamed, wiping his eye.

"Young man, where is your mother?" Jericho asked.

"Right behind you!" he said, pointing at the rather intimidating lady behind Jericho.

Jericho turned around and faced the woman. She looked like Beth Phoenix and Chyna combined together and on steroids.

"I'm sorry, madam," Jericho smiled, bowing to the woman in front of him. "We were just leaving."

He pointed to Edge and Christian to signify for them to come with him. They both walked on either side of Jericho and they all linked arms. They proceeded to skip around Disney World while Edge and Christian sang a loud chant of "we're off to see the wizard, the wonderful Wizard of Oz."

Jericho, on the other hand, continued his loud verbal assault of the English language.

"BITCH ASS MOTHER FUCKER. I'M SO HOOD. YOU CAN'T TOUCH THIS. YEAH BOY. PORNOGRAPHY. TITTIES."

Edge and Christian both stopped in their tracks while Jericho continued for one more skip before being halted by the two anchors on either side of him. "Dudes, what—Oh."

They had just come across the characters Winnie the Pooh and Tigger. They were both looking at Jericho and shaking their oversized heads.

"Look, I don't come from the Hundred Acre Woods, so I'm not sure about what fucking language you guys use, but—"

Jericho stopped when Tigger covered his ears and walked off with Winnie the Pooh.

"Dude, you just pissed off a guy in a Tigger suit," Edge said, smacking Jericho.

"It's not Tigger," Christian said.

"Then what is it?" Jericho asked.

"T-I-double guh-er," Edge stated matter of factly, crossing his arms.

"Can we please get out of here before Christian gets any more gay? Besides, we need to get to Cena's house ASAP," Jericho asked Edge.

"Sure, but just remember…I'm the good looking one of the group," Edge said.

"You wish, motherfucker," Jericho grinned.

The three Canadian blondes resumed their not so straight arm linking and skipped their way out of Disney World.

Luckily for Edge and Christian, Edge pretty much raided Disney World and they did not come across any more mascots that he could be photographed with.


End file.
